The Most Important Part of a Growing Marriage

"Keep your roots deep in him, build your lives on him, and become stronger in your faith." (Colossians 2:7a TEV)

You can do many different things to keep your marriage growing, like be affectionate, unselfish, and forgiving with one another. But by far the most important decision you and your spouse make in your marriage is to remain committed to following Jesus together.

The Bible says, "Keep your roots deep in him, build your lives on him, and become stronger in your faith" (Colossians 2:7a TEV). Both you and your spouse may have committed your lives to Jesus at some point, but you need to ask yourself, "Are we continuing to live out our faith as a couple?"

How do you do that?

  1. Get baptized together. If you haven't done so already, publicly identify yourself as a Christian. If Jesus is going to be the center of your marriage, it only makes sense that you both "come out of the closet" and be willing to tell the world that you're following him. I love to see husbands and wives get baptized together. It's a wonderful way to tell the world that you're committing your lives and your marriage to Jesus.
  2. Get in a small group together. Challenge your marriage spiritually by connecting with other Christian couples. As you learn together to apply God's Word to your marriages and lives, you'll sharpen one another spiritually. You'll also be challenging each other to serve in ministry and share your faith regularly. Growing as a follower of Christ and as a spouse requires that kind of consistent accountability.
  3. Renew your wedding vows. If you've committed your life to Jesus or renewed that commitment in a meaningful way since you first repeated your wedding vows, consider renewing those vows. It's likely they'll mean something different to you today.
  4. Pray for and with one another. "Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed" (James 5:16 MSG). Who doesn't want a marriage where you live together whole and healed? The Bible tells us that will happen when we confess to one another when we're wrong and pray with each other.
  5. Follow God's Word. A few years ago I read about a national study that said one out of three marriages end in divorce. When a couple is married in a church service, that number drops to one out of 50. When married couples are involved in Christian service together, attend worship services, and maintain some form of family worship, it's one out of 1,105 marriages. That's the kind of difference it makes when couples strive to read God's Word together and apply it to their lives.

Your marriage may have been going through a difficult season, but there's still hope. Your marriage can find life again. It has to start with you putting Jesus at the center of it. Do what God tells you to do in his Word, and your marriage can start growing again.  Jesus is the glue for any marriage. He holds you together when everything is tearing you apart and you feel like giving up. 

Talk It Over

  • What makes it challenging for you and your spouse to grow together spiritually?
  • What are the biggest obstacles you and your spouse face as you try to pray together on a daily basis?
  • What changes can you begin to make in the next week that will help you and your spouse develop a more intimate spiritual relationship?
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